


no strings attached

by thunderylee



Category: KAT-TUN (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bloodplay, Hate, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-08
Updated: 2009-05-08
Packaged: 2019-02-01 20:07:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12712050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Koki’s never fit in on the wrong side of the tracks.





	no strings attached

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

_“You can hurt me all you want, but it won’t make you better.”_

The words stay with Koki long after they’ve left yet another on the pavement, bruised and broken.

Except this time, he’s the one who feels broken.

“You’re acting like a lovesick fag,” his older brother tells him, grabbing him by the chin until Koki has no choice but to look into his eyes. “You’re supposed to be my right-hand man, help me lead our little brothers to be tough. How can they do that when their role model is a pussy?”

“Fuck you, I’m not a pussy,” Koki spits, the fire of hatred returning to his eyes as he returns the stare hard.

“That’s it,” the other says proudly, patting Koki on the cheek before letting go. “You talk a lot of shit, little brother, but you need to be able to back it up.”

“Right,” Koki says, rolling his eyes as he waves his hand distractedly.

“I’m serious, Koki.” The tone has changed, and Koki looks up to see his aniki’s expression like stone. “I can’t fight by myself.”

It’s not until the door closes behind him, leaving Koki alone in the room they share, that Koki wonders for the first time exactly what he’s fighting _for_.

_“If you need food, my mother runs a ramen place across town.” The young man smiled brightly despite his collar bunched in Juri’s fist. “You don’t have to resort to this life.”_

Koki cringes as the memory of Juri’s arm snapping back to deliver a punch presents itself at the front of his mind. Their victim didn’t even flinch, taking his hit like more of a man than Koki felt like at that moment.

He hears all of his brothers in the main room, toasting and boasting without him, and once again feels like an outsider in his own family. He can talk the talk and walk the walk, known throughout the ‘hood as the Tanaka brother who spits venom, but it’s always been like a game to him. Drinking, fucking, fighting – it doesn’t matter what he believes in as long as he plays the role.

It’s the only way for them to live.

_“You don’t have to resort to this life.”_

“I need some fucking air,” he tells his brothers, who don’t seem to notice as he grabs his coat and walks right out the front door into the crisp night.

At twenty-three, Koki feels like he’s already an old man. He and his older brother have jobs, getting up at the asscrack of dawn to do manual labor for white-collar assholes until it’s time to come home. Even combined with their father’s earnings, there’s not much to account for after the bills are paid, food is put on the table, and the younger brothers’ educations are covered.

Koki thinks it’s a little counterproductive that his parents value education so highly when he had to drop out of university to help support his family.

At night they roam the streets, protecting their turf and having it out with anyone who dares to disrespect them. While they don’t actively seek trouble, it’s usually what they find themselves in when walking together, the five brothers who don’t take any shit from anyone.

He thinks about a lot of things as he kicks at the ground, looking to all the world like the emo kids he’s been beating up for years. He thinks about Juri and how his baby brother used to be so sweet, always helpful and caring and holding the thread while Koki-nii mended the clothes they tore so that they wouldn’t have to buy new.

Now Juri is the rowdiest of them all, having no concept of a conscience as he sees red and just wails on whoever is unfortunate enough to be within arm’s reach. The oldest Tanaka brother calls him their secret weapon; Koki thinks that he’s a bomb waiting to go off.

He also sees himself at thirteen, only Juri wasn’t given a choice.

His feet come to a stop in front of a building, brightly lit in the darkness, and it’s only when he looks up that he realizes he’s walked all the way across town. There are probably a thousand ramen shops around here but he’s fairly certain this is the one; it has that atmosphere of acceptance, which up until now he’s only felt in his own house, and even then not quite.

“Welcome-” that voice starts to greet him, then pauses upon the sight. “You came.”

Koki’s jaw drops a little at the man’s swollen lip, courtesy of his sweet baby brother, and for once doesn’t squash his instinct. “Are you okay? That looks like it hurts.”

“I’m fine,” the other responds, gently pressing his finger to it as though thinking about it automatically has this reaction. “You look like you hurt worse.”

Blinking, Koki just sways against the doorframe, unsure how to respond to that. “I’m sorry for my brothers.”

“Don’t be.” It doesn’t look like it pains him to smile at all, like it would take more than a cut and a fat lip to keep him from doing so. “I’m about to close up for the night.”

“I’ll go, then-” Koki starts, but the other brushes past him to lock the door and switch the sign from OPEN to CLOSED.

He doesn’t say anything, just returns to the kitchen area, leaving Koki in a sea of empty tables. It had barely been a nudge, shoulder grazing against shoulder with no force behind it, yet it leaves Koki feeling like it was something much more purposeful. More… intimate.

“I’m Koyama Keiichiro,” the strong voice interrupts his internal battle, followed by the tall, gangly body that’s carrying two bowls of steaming ramen. “I’ll buy your dinner if you eat with me.”

Koki blinks again, still dazed by the contact to do much except sit across from Koyama and nod his thanks. The ramen is good, hot and calming as his tension is cleared with each slurp. He’s draining his bowl when he notices the other staring at him, like he’s on display at a museum and Koyama finds him particularly fascinating.

“Which one are you?” he asks gently. “I know your family name, but I can never keep all of you straight.”

“Koki,” Koki answers quickly, finding his voice. “I’m the second oldest.”

“Ah,” Koyama says, like he understands. “Easy to get lost in that crowd.”

Koki peers at him, trying to figure out exactly what he’s implying, but Koyama’s expression is so friendly that Koki can’t produce any negative feelings towards him. Defeated, he slouches in the chair and nods his agreement.

“What do you do, Koki-kun?”

The question is casual, inviting. Koyama’s gathering up their dishes, but his attention is wholly on Koki. His eyes don’t rush him, just waiting patiently like he has all night.

Maybe he does. Koki actually does too – tomorrow is his one day off, and although he has plans with his family like usual, none of them are until later in the afternoon. Ordinarily he’d be out with his brothers, finding trouble somewhere, but right now that isn’t really where he wants to be.

So he starts talking. He tells Koyama about his job, his parents, his brothers, and his dog, amazed that a complete stranger is actually interested in his life.

It’s nice to have someone actually care about what he has to say.

Koyama’s eyes light up when Koki mentions Sora-chan, looking positively thrilled that Koki’s said something that he can relate to.

That’s how Koki finds himself in Koyama’s room, awkwardly petting the purring ball of fur that’s claimed Koki’s lap as his own the minute he sat on Koyama’s bed. “Forward, isn’t he?”

Koyama laughs, a real laugh as he sits a comfortable distance away and scratches Nyanta on the head. “Cats don’t have many inhibitions,” he explains. “They do what they want, usually centered around what makes them feel good.”

“Sounds selfish to me,” Koki comments, but it doesn’t stop him from continuing to respond to the cat’s persistent head-butting.

“It’s okay to be selfish every once in awhile,” Koyama says, although it looks like he’s talking to his cat. “We have to keep ourselves happy in order to make others happy, you know?”

Koki thinks about that. He’s happy enough, he supposes, even if he has to work hard for it. It seems to mean more if it’s earned, at least that’s how he stays motivated.

Koyama lets him think, flopping onto his back and accepting Nyanta onto his belly with a surprised gasp. Impulsively Koki looks to the side, watches as the cat plops his furry butt right on Koyama’s belly, pulling up the bottom of Koyama’s shirt to expose a strip of smooth-looking flesh.

When he realizes that he’s staring, his guilty eyes snap up to Koyama only to find the other already gazing up at him, dark eyes shining through the narrow slits in his lids. He looks relaxed, peaceful, like nothing in the world could take away his comfort at this moment.

It’s a credit to how content Koki is that he doesn’t even flinch when Koyama’s fingers slowly trace the back of his hand, urging it over. The soft touch along his life and love lines feels a lot more sensual than they should, and Koki can’t even feign confusion because he knows exactly what Koyama is doing.

“It’s okay to be selfish,” Koyama says again, his voice a whisper. “Do you even know how?”

It should sound condescending but it doesn’t, a genuine question that actually has merit because Koki’s not quite sure he does. Everything he’s done in the past ten years has been for his family, his younger brothers who shouldn’t have to go through what he did.

His younger brothers who are going through what he did anyway.

“I hurt you,” Koki ends up saying, frowning at the reminder on Koyama’s mouth. “I didn’t do it, but I’m responsible for him-”

“You can make it better,” Koyama cuts him off, offering a repressed smile as he presumably realizes how corny that sounds.

At this moment, however, Koki takes it at face value. Like he’d been looking for an excuse to do so, he curls his fingers around Koyama’s and tugs, pulling him closer as he leans down and presses his lips to the bruised area. Koyama lets out a puff of air, like he’d been holding it in, and Koki smiles as he feels a drop of blood warm against his skin.

Automatically his tongue flicks out to lick at it, eliciting a different kind of breath from Koyama that seems to shoot right down Koki’s spine. He’s been with girls but this is different, much different – this time he actually cares about more than getting off. He’s considering touching Koyama, making him emit more of those noises, his hand sliding up Koyama’s neck to cup his jaw before the reality catches up with him.

Even when it does, he has no desire to run. The only desire he has is beneath him, heartbeat quickening under his fingertips as they graze along his pulse point. Belatedly Koki realizes that he’s tilting Koyama’s head towards him, lips pressing full against his and it feels natural, even when Koyama’s tongue slips out in search of his. Koki’s careful not to press too hard, doesn’t want to cause him any pain, but Koyama seems unconcerned with the pressure and kisses him breathless.

In the back of his mind, Koki vaguely recognizes that he’s being relocated, his back gently lowered to the soft mattress as a hard body settles on top of him. Soft hands slide up his arms until long fingers encircle both of his wrists, raising them above his head but in no way restraining. Koki arches towards him, involuntarily, his breath catching in his throat when he feels how much the other wants him.

“Is this okay?” Koyama mumbles against his lips, voice much deeper than before. “Do you want me to, you know, take charge?”

“I-” Koki starts to answer, but loses his train of thought when Koyama starts to rock against him. His legs fall open, accepting the other between them and rolling his hips towards the hardness that rubs against his. It feels good, really good, and his hands are drifting down Koyama’s body to rest on his belt, fingers hooking in the loops as he jerks Koyama closer.

Koyama moans at the abrupt action, which is swallowed by Koki as he makes no effort to turn them over but keeps pulling Koyama towards him to meet his own upwards thrusts, his entire focus on hearing that sound again. He wants to ask why, more specifically why _him_ , but he can’t bring himself to stop for even one second.

Being selfish has never felt so good.

He’s not quite sure how he’s answering Koyama’s question, but the other appears to be accepting it regardless. Koki’s hips snap harder, like he’s actually inside him, and the more he thinks about it the more appealing it sounds. His breaths become mixed with grunts, a thin layer of sweat covering his skin that feels even more hot underneath his clothes, even _hotter_ with Koyama moving against him.

He doesn’t know how to ask, not sure of the etiquette for something like this, settling for grasping at Koyama’s hips and kissing him desperately, hoping his actions convey his need because he doesn’t think he can take much more. A whine that is both grateful and disappointed escapes before he can stop it when Koyama halts him, hands splaying on his chest and thankfully relieving him of his hindrance of a shirt.

Koki returns the favor and lingers at Koyama’s belt buckle, hesitating long enough for Koyama to cover Koki’s hands with his and guide him through the motions of unfastening his pants. Then hard flesh is in his hand and Koyama tears his mouth away, pressing his face into Koki’s neck and gasping into his throat.

Instantly Koyama’s fumbling with Koki’s pants, the last of their clothing cast aside in a frenzy of haste and lust, and Koyama’s legs are on either side of Koki’s when they come back together, skin to skin.

No words are exchanged when a bottle is placed into Koki’s hand, the silent request accompanied by a hot tongue and a hint of sharp teeth on his neck. All it takes is a pointed tug on his cock and Koki springs into action, coating his fingers and following the line of muscle up Koyama’s inner thigh until he finds what he’s looking for.

He hasn’t done this before, but Koyama’s groans seem to direct him until the tip of his finger is _inside him_ and it’s so surreal that Koki struggles to breathe. Koyama’s body rocks back against him and it’s like a tease, the way Koyama’s muscles protest him in a direct indication of what it will feel like around his cock. Koki moans and Koyama seems to understand, lips dragging along his neck in a comforting way as he whimpers and pushes back more pointedly.

Koki’s not slow to catch on and eases his finger in enough to slip it in and out a few quick times before trying for a second. The resulting noise from Koyama is practically obscene, deep and pleading as he opens up enough for Koki to push in to the knuckle. He stretches him some more, fingering hurriedly until he manages to get all the way in and grazes something that has Koyama clutching onto him and panting into his neck, encouraging whispers of incoherence keeping Koki on that spot.

Three fingers deep, Koyama’s acting like he’s being fucked and it makes Koki want it more. He turns his head to nuzzle Koyama’s cheek like it’s his request, seeking permission, and Koyama shakily lifts his head until his breath tickles Koki’s ear.

“Fuck me,” he whispers. “Just like this.”

A condom appears from nowhere, rolled onto Koki’s heavy erection and covered from base to tip with more of the lubricant. Koki arches into the touch and bites his lip to keep from embarrassing himself, reaching for Koyama’s wrists before he can get to that point. He opens his eyes and sees Koyama staring down at him, lids hooded and face flushed.

Right now, at this moment, Koki forgets about every girl who has been in Koyama’s position before, memorizing the way Koyama’s eyes roll back into his head when he sinks down onto Koki’s length. Nothing could have prepared Koki for this feeling and he can’t hold back his reaction, a sharp moan tearing from his lungs as his body thrusts up in search of friction. The squeezing around him becomes more pointed as he hits that spot with the head of his cock, which has Koyama sitting straight up and arching his back, his hips rocking in time with Koki’s motions.

Koki watches him ride, eyes squeezed shut and mouth slightly parted, his noises intensifying as Koki’s speed increases. His fingers latch onto Koyama’s hips to keep him grounded as Koki pounds into him from below, with no other support because Koyama’s hands are on his own body, one pinching a nipple and the other wrapped around his cock, shamelessly touching himself while bouncing up and down from Koki’s efforts.

He’s not going to last very long, although he’s pretty sure that Koyama has no intention to do so as he strokes himself purposely, hand flying up and down on his own cock until he’s tightening around Koki and making it harder and harder to hold off. Then Koyama’s breath catches in his throat and it’s a beautiful sight, the way he seems to freeze except for his cock pulsing onto Koki’s stomach, his shrill moan making Koki bend his knees and plant both feet on the bed, giving him momentum to push up with his whole body.

Koyama keeps bouncing through his orgasm, falling forward until his mouth lands on Koki’s and drinks up all of the gasps and grunts that intensify as he gets close. A little faster and it’s like an explosion how hard he comes, his mind completely gone for an undetermined length of time as the pressure leaves him and all he’s left with is tingles in his nerves from head to toe.

A low laugh brings him back, a soft kiss that lingers until Koki reciprocates, feeling Koyama smile against his lips. Carefully Koyama lifts off of him and disposes of the condom, cleaning them both up while Koki lay boneless and more satisfied than he’s been in a long time.

“It’s amazing how good it feels to move on your own, isn’t it?” Koyama says sleepily, and Koki only wonders for a second before Koyama drags him up and under the covers.

Freedom is exhausting.

> ~bonus~

Juri grins like a normal teenager when the bowl of ramen is placed in front of him, even when Koki whacks him in the back of the head and reminds him of his manners.

“Thanks, Kei-nii!” he says quickly, beaming up at the man who’s become a big part of his brother’s life. “I’m really sorry I kicked your ass that one time.”

Koki smacks him again, but Koyama just laughs and joins them.

“You didn’t hurt me,” he says teasingly, although Koki suspects that there’s some truth to it. “All that matters is that you’re growing up properly now.”

Juri slurps the noodles and makes a pointed face. “Of course I am, I have a good role model.”

Koyama meets Koki’s eyes and smiles proudly. “That you do.”

Koki thinks that he’ll wait a couple more years to explain to Juri exactly _how_ his strings were cut.


End file.
